Relationships with dysfunctional family members: Alle and Dr. Donna, Part 2
Alle’s second of three interviews with Dr. Donna: wide-ranging, with glimpses into Alle’s earlier life and recovery, and the influence her writing.
Dr. Donna’s podcast offers “innovative, evidence-based recovery that helps to identify intergenerational trauma, allowing for freedom and embracement of the healing process.”
Which Alle grooves on. The interview comes with a trigger warning for in-depth discussions of child abuse. The interview starts at 30 seconds into the podcast.
About relationships with dysfunctional families:
Alle: I see in my survivor groups so many people who are like, “I have to make it better, I have to make it better” — and the freedom I felt when I realized, “Well, they can make it better.” It’s not my problem anymore, to try to figure out how to have a relationship with you.
Donna: Very good! Because if you’re over there saying, “What can I do, what can I do?” you’re like a five-year-old in a grown-up body.
Alle: What’s important is that my kids had a relationship with (a relative). My husband and I made that decision together. “That is what’s important, and when that stops being what is critical, then we re-valuate.” And then, sometimes, life takes care of things —
Donna: You mean, when you’re not trying to be in control of everything?
Alle: Things just work out. And I can have peace around them. ’Cause I wasn’t all up in it, trying to make things work my way. I turn it over, and then you do your best on this human level to try to make things work out.
